Choosing to lead is choosing to be responsible - and not just for yourself.
If the waiter you have working in your restaurant is rude, they come to you.
They may be upset at him, but they hold you accountable.
The more influence you have, the less control you will have and the more responsible you will be.
It doesn't sound fair because it's not fair.
But it's a reality that can not be avoided for those willing to lead.